Is your weight problem due to low confidence? Low confidence can result in many side effects, one of them is trouble with your weight. You might also smoke cigarettes as a result of low confidence. Perhaps you drink too much? Low confidence goes hand in hand with low motivation and even depression. Low confidence can also sit at the root of your anxiety. It is different for everyone.
When clients come in with various symptoms that can indicate low confidence I ask them to say out loud, “I’m not good enough”, and see if it feels at all true. Some will say yes, others no. And sometimes I even believe them – usually I don’t believe what people tell me because the fact is that more than half the time, people are unaware of their own feelings. Almost always, they are unaware of the reasons why they do what they do. That’s my job. I use my experience and my skills to work that out.
But after I’ve tested clients around the ‘not good enough’ scenario, some will still say they do not feel it to be true, yet they keep demonstrating that it is true. This is where ego comes into the picture. No-one wants it to be true. Ask yourself this, if I FELT I was good enough, or perhaps more relevant to you, if I BELIEVED I was good enough, would I keep snacking between meals, smoking cigarettes, drinking too much etc? Quite often clients will say ‘no’. That’s when I know to start treating for low confidence.
Tilly’s Low Confidence
Here’s a great example of where low confidence is not obvious. Tilly comes across as a very assertive woman, confident in fact. She is not shy in telling me what she thinks, about anything! She has a weight issue. She snacks between meals and has accumulated an extra 5 kilos per year over the past five years. Tilly does not identify with having low confidence because her idea of herself is quite the opposite. But Tilly does identify with feeling unsupported.
Over the time that Tilly has been accumulating the weight, she has felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. She says that she is always there for others, but they are never there for her. So let’s look at that. If someone believes that it’s OK to essentially martyr oneself for others, and to accept an absence of support in return, what is that really saying?
Let me suggest that it says, “I’m not worthy”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve”. I could go on. The point is that even though Tilly projects an idea of confidence, her belief system doesn’t back it up. Her unconscious mind does not agree. When I asked Tilly that magic question, if you felt good enough, would you keep snacking between meals? She said no. Not good enough is another way of saying low confidence.
I helped Tilly get back on top of her weight loss plan by working on her confidence. We also did some specific weight loss processes, but the main thing we did was to help Tilly redirect her focus back onto valuing herself, and thus building confidence. It’s pretty hard to be truly confident, on the inside, when you put yourself last, isn’t it? Need help?